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Good King John
By William Briggs

800 Years ago

Good King John was on the throne in circa 1215

He was the finest monarch. The countrie'd ever seen

But led by one Fitzwalter. The Barons took command

And put the squeeze on good King John. AKA Lackland

In the middle of the Irwell on an island he was found

The barons got the Magna Carta out and passed it round

When everyone had signed it and the country was made free

They went to Hornby's chippy on Hyde Road and had their tea

200 years ago..
The battle of Trafalgar, was fought between the locks
Of a picturesque location, at the end of Salford docks
Villeneuve of France, was in a pedalo he'd stolen
Nelson hired a rowing boat, and wore a medal, golden

Nelson pulled his eyepatch up and gave the frog a wink
He said I'm going to ram thee and thy pedalo will sink
This didn't frighten Villeneuve and he began to pedal
Then he took his flintlock out and shot him in the medal

Villeneuve was chuffed to bits and poured a glass of sherry
He didn't see until too late, the looming Mersey ferry
They collided with a mighty crash and Villeneuve was sunk
Meanwhile Admiral Nelson, was dying in his bunk

Hardy came to help him up
But he could do no more
So Hardy kissed the admiral
And called the match a draw